May 2016- For the Birds | The Harris Family Blog

Sometimes I feel like this when crossing the street with my people. I am frantic to ensure no one gets run over, while they gawk around oblivious to anything careening toward them at 35 mph. And at that point, someone usually loses a flip flop….

You’ll be happy to know that Malory and I stopped in the middle of our neighborhood to let them cross. It takes a village. More on the Dugger family of geese later….

Mother’s Day this year was bittersweet for me. I always treasure the cards, gifts and attention from my little people, and as an added bonus this year John went grocery shopping, cooked lunch AND dinner, and kept my cocktail full at all times. He knew the day would be a tough one for me, and I love him for that…..

Apparently, Reese also knew….she promptly crossed dad’s name off her homemade gift.

As if I wasn’t already spoiled enough, my people both big and small took me on a belated Mother’s Day excursion to one of my favorite places….Vail. We enjoyed a suite at the Four Seasons, and dinner at Matsuhisa. I don’t usually leave a single morsel of Miso Black Cod on the plate, but I was stuffed, even with elastic pants.

And, let’s all take a moment to remember this….

Back to the birds….a certain little lady LOVES having her nails painted by anyone who will do it for her, which is usually her brother. The budding artist in him comes out and he paints whatever her little heart desires, in this case flamingos. When they told me of their plan on their way through the kitchen with a basket full of polish I thought “Yeah, right. Flamingos.”

Can you believe it? 3-year-old fingernails are not very big, and yet he managed to paint one on each and every little piggy.

May is also my children’s favorite time of the year….after Christmas, Halloween, and summer vacation of course. It’s the time when we realize that the school year is almost over and if they want to cash in on the “Day off with Mom” we’d better get cracking. Now, before you frown on the idea of taking my children out of school when they are not ill…I consider it to be my end-of-year gift to the teacher. Let’s be honest, there is ZERO learning happening the last month of school. Their days consist of extra recess (because the teacher can’t stand them all inside at once) daily movie time (because the teacher is hungover and needs a dark, quiet environment) and field trips (truth be told I plan the days for EXACTLY that reason. See Kindergarten chaperone story circa May 2015).

Either way, Reese’s day was up first and we agreed to repeat last year’s shopping extravaganza, but to up our game a bit with an added hotel sleepover. Where does one go for a shopping extravaganza you might ask? Fifth Avenue in NYC? Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills?

Boulder, of course. But before all of the shopping we must fuel up with pizza….and hydrate.

Then, matching fingernails.

Then a little break from the shopping for some Frappucino therapy.

And finally we rounded out the day with a little pool time and some room service. No one can say that I don’t teach my girls right. John should be very afraid of the time when Malory AND Reese are old enough for this kind of trip. New York City, here we come!!

Next up on the docket was Jackson’s annual day off. As much as he is a fashionista like his father, the thought of an all day shopping trip for clothes didn’t appeal to him. So, instead we agreed on Elitch’s and a movie. But, instead of pizza and wine we fueled up with the next best thing…

It says 0 grams of fat…right?

About an hour later I was rethinking the donut as we were climbing 10 stories up to ride the roller coaster of death. Truth be told, I actually love roller coasters and worried that in this particular instance I was the braver of the two of us….

(Two things….#1 good Lord do we need some sun. #2 he looks terrified doesn’t he?)

Moving on….I’ll tell you what I do NOT love in my adult years. The f*%$ing Tilt-A-Whirl, aka Vomit City. As a kid, Eric and I would pin poor Jacce between us at the Warren County Fair (see August 2013) and ride this death trap over and over and over….

Yeah, it’s not that fun anymore. Once we started, I realized that the centrifugal force that I loved so much as a kid was no longer my friend. “Ok, you can do this….just close your eyes and it will be over soon.” “NOOOOOOOO, do NOT close your eyes.” I had to “mind over matter” the situation just to make it through the 3-minute ride. Guess who loved it?

After that harrowing experience, you know what I needed to rejuvenate my spirits? Yes, more sugar.

Finally, after an afternoon of exercising our physical bodies (eating that much is HARD) my young man and I decided to nurture our creative sides. Pottery, sushi and a movie were the perfect end to a perfect day with my favorite 9-year-old.

(In case you’re wondering why Jackson is wearing a different shirt and thinking that I am making up stories, he also talked me into the water ride at Elitch’s. I lectured him about how he was not going to be very happy with wet underwear and shoes, but being the good sport I am, I played along. We were SOAKED. Old Navy was our friend that afternoon)

Remember those birds from about 10,000 words ago? Well, that wasn’t the end of them. Much to John’s dismay, the Dugger family moved into our backyard.

Aren’t they the cutest?!?!? I counted 42 of them. And 13, 754 pieces of goose poop.

And, the goose family invited their friends the Pelicans to take up residence on the swim dock. It was a bird party!!! I loved it….John was not amused. In fact, Larry and I got quite a laugh when he attempted to “clear” them off the swim dock with his pellet gun. He stood out there for at least 20 minutes, went through no less than 100 pellets, and they looked exactly like this when he was done. Both me and the pelicans pointed and laughed at his poor shooting skills. Then the pelicans took a dump right on the dock as a way of saying “F-you, buddy. We own your a$$.”

Speaking of John’s ass, this month he embarked upon what can only be described as a psychotic event. He traveled to Utah to watch Lee complete a triathlon, and returned home inspired. My couch potato husband (no offense intended) decided that he too wanted to complete the run, bike, swim madness….in 10 weeks no less. Now, before you think I’m too much of a jerk for doubting his abilities, you should know that this is the same man who has gone to the gym once….in the past 3 years. He hates running, does not own a bicycle, and swimming? Well, let’s just say I’ve never seen him do any water exercise other than a cannonball.

Nonetheless, when the man sets his mind to something, he typically succeeds. He moved forward with the dedication and motivation of a wino in search of his next drink. And, as anyone who really knows John would expect, he did not just grab his shoes from the cobwebs of his gym bag and hit the pavement. No, his first task was shopping. Every day there was a new delivery of equipment from Runners Roost, Amazon, Triathlon World, REI…you name it. He’s nothing if not prepared.

Now, I wanted to be fully supportive, so what did I do? Well, I pointed and laughed and took pictures of course!! Honestly, the first time he walked into the kitchen wearing his “onesie” it took all of my strength to not burst out in hysterical laughter and roll on the floor. 250 lb. man in VERY tight spandex. Good stuff.

Here he is getting ready for his first open water swim in the lake. Swimming is HARD, and I’m afraid he was not smiling when he finished.

Nor was he smiling a few days later. Yes, that’s a bag of ice on his back.

Walter was very empathetic, and felt compelled to take a nap. Now, THAT’S solidarity.

HAPPY BEGINNING OF SUMMER!!!